


What Doesn't Kill Us

by reigningqueenofwords



Series: Chocolate Cupcakes [14]
Category: Supernatural AU
Genre: F/M, Gen, talk of miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23150308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Relationships: Cas x sister!Reader, Dorothy x granddaughter!Reader, past Jess x Sam, sam x reader
Series: Chocolate Cupcakes [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1413247
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	What Doesn't Kill Us

On the way to his car, Sam called his mother asking her to meet him at his house. He told her only of the car accident, not what role Jess had played.

He slid behind the steering wheel, laying his head back against the seat. He couldn’t cry yet, not now. Taking a few deep breaths, he started the car and headed home. His thoughts were jumbled up, bouncing from one thing to another in no particular order. Anger at Jess was slowly building like a campfire, from small and flickering to smoldering hot, flames shooting higher and higher until his grip on the steering wheel left his knuckles white and tense. “Oh God! She told me she was sorry about the baby, and I didn’t fucking say anything! I am such an asshole!” he finished with a shout.

* * *

You nodded off not too long after Sam had left, but the guilt ate at you. He didn’t tell you that it wasn’t your fault, so you knew that it really was. Cas held your hand as you slept, running his thumb over your knuckles.

Adam came in with flowers and a small bear. “It was the best thing in the gift shop…” He said awkwardly.

Cas gave him a small smile. “Thanks, I know she’ll love it.”

* * *

Mary was worried about you, as was John, and Dean. She had told John, and John called Dean right after. She told John to run to the store and pick up some snacks, and a couple new movies to watch with the kids. They would probably be able to tell something was up. They were way too observant. 

* * *

When Sam neared his house, he clenched his jaw. He needed to keep his cool until his mom picked the kids up. He pulled into the driveway and laid his forehead on the steering wheel. He took a few deep breaths and only when he heard his mom pull in the driveway behind him did he get out.

“How is she?” Mary asked as she wrapped her youngest son in a hug.

“She’s _pretty_ banged up, but she’ll be okay. Mom,” his voice broke,”She was pregnant.”

Mary froze, “ _Was_? Oh Sam, I’m so sorry honey.”

“I need to get back to her, she’s blaming herself and I’m such an idiot that I didn’t tell her that it wasn’t. But first, I need to deal with Jess,” he spat. “It’s _her_ fault that Y/N got into an accident!”

She looked at him, confused. “What? What the _hell_ did she do?” She asked.

Sam ran his hand through his hair. “I was up in the shower, and Jess texted her from my phone. Asked her to come over- making it seem like I wanted to talk. Only, I was on my way to get her for a surprise date. So, while I’m over at her place, she is greeted in Jess wearing nothing but my shirt, claiming we spent the night together, and that we’re getting back together.” He shook his head. “If she hadn’t have texted her, she wouldn’t have been in the car, and she wouldn’t have lost the baby.” He sighed, his voice quiet. “Which, of course, I made worse.”

“How?”

“I never met her brother, Cas. I am _almost_ at her room and I see, and hear, a doctor telling some strange man that the baby didn’t make it.” He explained. “I accused her of cheating on me, and that the baby was _his_. She didn’t even know about it until I told her.”

“Sam, the two of you will work this out,” Mary smiled gently at him, “Now get out of my way, cause I am going to tear _every_ hair out of this bitch’s head.”

Sam stopped her. “Don’t. You will get the kids, and you will take them to your house. I will deal with this. Legally. I already have temporary full custody of the kids. How do you think this stunt will look when brought before a judge? It shows that she has no concern for others. She will lose her custody, and will only be allowed supervised visits. She tries anything again, those are over.” He told her, knowing that was a worse punishment- slower. “Now, let’s go.”

Sam opened the door, “Ava, Liam!”

“Daddy, daddy!” The sounds of little feet running could be heard.

“Gramma why are you here?” Ava asked. “Where’s Y/N, did she like the boat Daddy?”

Sam staggered back, the only thing keeping him standing was the warm hand at his back.

Mary smiled at the kids, “Guess what? You two are coming to stay with me and Grampa for a couple of days! Let’s go get some things together, okay?” She took each of them by a hand and headed for the steps, her steps pausing briefly when Jess walked into the living room.

“Hello, Mary,” Jess said.

“Mom! _Please_?” Sam said desperately.

Mary looked over her shoulder and nodded, “Take care of this Samuel.” She smiled down at the kids, “we are going to have movie night tonight!”

Not another word was said until Mary and the kids were out the door, and in the car. Sam slowly shut the door and turned to look at Jess. The look on his face was cold, and distant, the fire was clear in his eyes, however. “So, tell me, _Jessica_.” He started, his voice low. “When did we have this discussion…that we’re getting back together?” His hands were in his pockets as he moved slowly. “Or when I gave you permission to wear _my_ clothes.” He added. “Care to tell me why you felt you had any right on fucking with my love life?” He all but growled, his jaw clenching. “To sit here, texting the woman I _**LOVE**_ , and making her think that I had any intention of getting back with someone like you…and think that’s okay?!” He yelled. “What? You don’t want me, but I can’t move on and be happy? You can fuck my **_CO-WORKER_** for who knows how long before **_YOU_** served divorce papers, but I can’t fucking be happy with someone else months after the fact?” He was shaking he was so pissed.

Jess paled at Sam’s outburst. “What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything,” she stammered.

Sam slammed his palms down on the table, “ ** _ENOUGH_**! No more lies!” he shouted. He stalked around the table and slowly walked towards Jess, smirking when she started backing up. When her back hit the wall, his hands came up and slammed into the wall on either side of her head. “I know everything, you treacherous bitch! I hope you enjoyed today with the kids, because that is the last time you will see them without court supervision, in a public place,” he snarled. “Don’t! Save your pathetic pleas for Benny, they won’t help you now. Because of you and your little stunt, Y/N was in a car accident when she left here. She’s laying in the hospital with broken bones, bruises and cuts, but most importantly, she lost a baby. _My baby_ , Jess.”

She stared at him. “The kids didn’t mention a baby. And they wouldn’t stop _gushing_ over how two were going to get married and everything.” She shook her head. “Like you’d marry the nanny!” She scoffed. “She probably wasn’t even pregnant and told you that to keep you.”

“The kids have wanted us to get married for a while now, but we aren’t. Neither of us is in the right place for a marriage. The kids didn’t mention the baby, because they didn’t _know_ about it. I didn’t know, for fuck’s sake _Y/N_ didn’t even know. I heard it from the doctor!” He shook his head, “You don’t get to have a say in my life anymore and you sure as _shit_ have lost any say in our children’s.”

“They’re my kids!” She fought back. “I have a right to be in their lives! I just want what’s best for them”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have done any of the malicious scheming that you have. You can be in their lives, you just don’t get to make decisions about them anymore. I will be filing a restraining order against you, you will have to stay away from me and the kids and Y/N. Until the court date, the only way you get information about them is by calling my office. Now **_GET OUT_**! I have to get back to the hospital.”

* * *

“Hey, sleepy head.” You heard Cas chuckle and turned towards his voice.

You gave him a small smile. “How long was I out?”

He glanced at the clock. “Couple hours.”

“Can I ask you something, Cassie?” Your voice was soft. He nodded, waiting for you to continue. “Would you be with someone who jumped to the conclusion you were cheating? Didn’t even talk about it, just got angry and pointed fingers?” You looked over his face for clues, but had none. “Even though you don’t feel like they trust you, if they can think that _so_ easily?”

“Y/N/N, I’ve never been in a situation like that. You know me and relationships, I’m a love ‘em, leave ‘em kind of guy. If this is about Sam and I think it is, look at it from his view. He shows up at your apartment to take you out on a surprise date, then he gets a text message from you accusing him of cheating on you with his ex-wife. Sweetie, Adam told me that Sam fell apart, when he got your text. He was focused only on finding you and making things right. Then he gets the call about your accident, rushes here to the hospital to see a strange man outside your room, and a doctor telling said strange man that you lost the baby. What would you think?” Cas said gently.

You sighed. “He knows I have a brother, Cas. And that’s different than me showing up at his house to see his ex-wife wearing nothing but his shirt. The shirt I sleep in, mind you, looking happy as a fucking clam.” You weren’t arguing with him, but you just weren’t sure how those two things added to the same thing. “I just feel like I’m getting lumped in with her because she cheated on him, so that’s exactly what he thought about me. I got shoved into the Jess column.”

“I can understand that, and weren’t you the same way when that ex of yours cheated on you in college?” Cas asked.

Slowly, you nodded. “Kinda.” He shot you a look. “Shut up.” You half teased. “Dick.” You gave him a small smile. “How’d Grandma take the news?” A change of subject was what you needed. Anything to keep your mind from Sam….and the baby. 

Cas cocked an eyebrow, “How do you think, she’s on her way here now, I think I interrupted margarita time, so things should get interesting.” You both groaned at the same time. Dorothy, alcohol and hospitals with cute doctors running around was never a good combination. “So, do I need to get into a cat fight with a certain ex-wife, or should I steal her man as payback,” he winked.

“Don’t make me laugh!” You tried to hold one back. “I don’t know what Benny looks like…So, I have no idea how attractive he is.”

“I saw Sam. There’s no way you go from a 15…to anything less than a 10.” He pointed out.

Hearing the door open, you looked up to see Sam. “Hey.” You breathed again. “How’re the kids?”

“They’re with my mom.” He told you simply.

Cas stood up. “Is Benny hot?” He asked, completely serious. “I offered to steal him from the ex-wife as payback, but she doesn’t know what he looks like. I said he can’t be any less than a 10, as you’re a 15. At _least_. So. How hot is Benny?”

Sam looked perplexed as he looked at Cas then slid his gaze to you, “Um, I’m sorry what now?”

You sighed. “Just humor him. Or he’ll start hitting on you.” You shrugged. “Strictly from looks, as that’s all Cas really cares about, is Benny _attractive_? That’s all he wants to know.

Cas looked at you. “Hey! That’s not all I care about.” He smirked, making you close your eyes and shake your head. “I also care about…muscle…size.”

Sam didn’t think it was possible to choke on one’s own spit, but he was certainly a believer at this point, “Yeah, I _guess_ he could be considered-”

“ ** _WHERE_** is my granddaughter!”

The three of you flinched in the room at hearing the loud voice.

“Excuse me, handsome, are you a doctor? No, such a pity, we could have had a glorious time. I’m looking for Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

Cas sighed and moved to the door. “ _Seriously_ , Grandma?!” He waved her over. “Get in here! Stop hitting on everyone!” 

As she walked in, you gave her a small smile. “Don’t make me tell Dean you’re cheating on him already…” You teased her lightly. 

She gave you her best bitch face, “Tiger knows I would never cheat on him, a girl’s got to keep her options open though,” she purred side eying Sam, “Isn’t that right Cassie, darling?”

“I’m not sure. Cas and you are a lot a like and well…Cas isn’t always a one man kinda guy…” You shrugged.

“Details, details.” She waved her hands, moving around Sam, giving his ass a pat like it was nothing. She sat on the side of your bed. “How’re you feeling?”

“Sore, tired,” you admitted sheepishly, chuckling when Sam moved to the other side of your bed, keeping his ass away from your grandmother.

She sighed. “That’s…not what I meant.” She told you. “Emotionally.” Cas clearly mentioned the baby. You shrugged, staring at your fingers as you picked at your nails.

Tears filled your vision, “You wanna know, how it’s all my fault. That I feel like a horrible person for losing an innocent baby,” you sobbed, “How I never realized how badly I wanted it, until it was gone.”

Sam hung his head. “It’s not your fault, baby.” He told you gently. “I should have said that earlier. I’m an asshole for not saying it. There’s no way in hell that could be your fault.” Finally, Sam let the dam break that had been holding his own tears at bay.

Cas tapped on Dorothy’s shoulder and pulled her from the room quietly.

You grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him down to you, both of you wrapping your arms around the other and together you sobbed about the loss of a baby, neither of you had known about but now wished desperately had survived.

* * *

Cas sighed as he sat in a chair outside of your room, leaning his head back. “I’m just glad she’s okay. At least physically.” He said quietly. “I nearly had a heart attack when they called me.” Cas glanced to Dorothy, who was leaning against the wall, watching the two of you through the small window. “What?” He asked, noting the look on her face.

“Just not sure how it’s fair.” She shrugged. “A woman like Jess had everything, but Y/N has to fight for it. Don’t get me wrong, I love the twins. I see them as my own great-grandchildren. It’s their mother who I don’t like. Now we have to comfort Y/N over a child she didn’t even know about.”

“Grandma, you know these things happen for a reason, all we can do is love her and help her over this. When the time is right, it will happen again,” Cas said. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, “Now spill all the juicy details on your tiger, Dean I believe is his name?”

“Doesn’t make it right, Castiel.” She replied simply. Hearing Dean’s name, she raised an eyebrow. “He’s just a tiny bit shorter than that hunk in there. Short, dirty blonde hair. Feisty. And an ass I’d like to take a bite out of.” She chuckled. “Hands off, Grandma called dibs.” 

“Hmmph! We’ll see about dibs, you horny little devil! He may see me and fall madly in love,” he sighed, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

* * *

Sam was the first to pull away, cupping your cheek. His thumb brushed away a tear. “This isn’t your fault. Please don’t ever think that. I’m sorry for how I reacted, and the way you found out, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, that I doubted you. A part of me knew it couldn’t be true, but then the part that’s been cheated on grabbed ahold and I panicked. Can you forgive me for that and for the b-”

Sam didn’t give you a chance to finish before he brought his lips to yours, gently kissing away any lingering doubt that he blamed you. “I love you, Y/N so much that it scares me,” he whispered. “I think we’ve both been hurt in the past and instead of talking we reacted with our doubt’s instead of listening to our hearts and minds.” He kissed each bruise on your face, each cut, gently and lovingly.

“I’m filing a restraining order against Jess tomorrow. She won’t be allowed near you, the kids or me. I’m so sorry she said and did those things. I’m the one who should be asking for your forgiveness,” he said softly.

You quickly shook your head. “There’s no way you could have known she would do something like this.” You told him. “I…I think I’d like to stay at the house for the time being. My part of everything’s already paid for this month. I’m sure Adam won’t mind the privacy.”

“Of course, I had hoped to convince you to stay there so that I can take care of you,” he smiled. “As soon as the doctor releases you, I’ll take you home. Now, I think you should sleep, I can tell how tired you are and I can see you’re in pain. I’ll be here all night,” he kissed your forehead.

“You wanna borrow my pain button, spending the entire night with my brother and grandmother may scar you for life,” you chuckled.

* * *

Before you knew it, it was Halloween. The past couple weeks had been hard on the both of you, but it got a little easier every day. You were on the couch watching a cheesy black and white movie while Sam got the kids ready. You had a broken leg, and a broken rib, so you had to take it easy. Sam had worked from home when he could, and Cas stayed behind. Being a writer, he could work from the North Pole and it wouldn’t matter.

No one would tell you what everyone was going as. Dean was taking the kids out, giving you and Sam some alone time, and Cas and Dorothy were going to some Halloween party. Hearing a knock, you looked over, knowing it was Dean. He walked in and you gasped, in amused shock.

“Oh My God! You look fabulous, Dean,” you snickered behind one hand.

Dean shot you an amusing glare, “Really, Y/N? You don’t think the hair is over the top?”

You couldn’t help it any longer, you fell back against the couch, laughing loudly, you even managed to snort a few times.

“Ahhhhhhh! Uncle Dean!!!! It’s perfect! You look so pretty!” Ava screeched as she ran down the stairs.

A furry gray shape darted past you and flung itself at Dean’s legs, which made you laugh even harder when you noticed he was still wearing combat boots that looked oddly out of place. Your gaze drifted up his bare bowed legs to the checkered dress with crinoline underneath, to the red hooded cape and finally ending on the pigtail brown haired wig that was currently a little crooked on his head. Ava bent down and grabbed his basket, handing it to him.

Sam’s laugh could be heard from the top of the stairs, where he stood with a tiny Batman. “Oh. My. God.” He cracked up.

“Shut it. This would be you if the Mrs. wasn’t laid up. Or hell, THIS would be her. I bet she would look a lot better in this.”

“No. You look…wow….” You teased, your ribs starting to hurt.

Ava ran over to you, “Doesn’t he look pretty mommy? He’s the best Red Riding Hood EVER!”

You giggled, “Yes he is sweetie,” you leaned closer whispering into her ear. She nodded excitedly, she got your phone from the table and handed it to you.

“Okay, Uncle Dean, smile pretty. Mommy wants a picture of us.”

“C’mon kid, let me be the wolf, you can be Red,” Dean begged.

Ava stuck her bottom lip out, her eyes filling with tears, “You promised me, Uncle Dean!” she buried her furry face down on your lap

“Shi-Shoot! Okay, okay don’t bring the tears out. You know, I hate it when you cry,” Dean pleaded.

Ava lifted her face from your lap, smiling as big as she could, but by the time she faced Dean she had tears back in her eyes and her bottom lip was quivering.

Once you for their picture, they pulled Dean out the door, him all but whining about it. You smiled over at Sam as he shut the door and then made his way to the couch. “Guess you’re mine for the night.” He grinned. “Kids are going to my parent’s house afterwards.” Sam told you as he sat at the end of the couch, putting your feet on his lap.

“And here I am. All banged up and stuck in place.” You chuckled lightly.


End file.
